Emotion, free essay sample

Self awareness the ability to know your own emotions. This involves being able to adopt the witnessing stance so as to master self understanding and in sight into your own needs and feeling. Knowing and understanding your feelings gives you more direction for wise decision making. Managing your emotions the ability to master stress control anger overcome depression and anxiety and remain optimistic all contribute to skills in being resilent so as to bounce back from life’s inevitable setbacks. Self motivation the ability to persevere to delay gratification and wait for rewards and to stay focused and on task is essential in most life endeavors particularly those that involve long terms goals. Perceptiveness the ability to perceive and correctly identify the emotions of others along with skills at recognizing the impact of your behavior on others. The cornerstone of this is the ability to empathize with others to literally be able to put yourself in shoes of another person, along with the ability to read and understand nonverbal cues. Handling relationships skills in relating to others and managing their emotions. It involves listening skill, conversational skills being able to resolve conflicts and knowing how to be appropriately assertive. It also subsumes the ability to establish rapport with others along with leadership skills. In this chapter we focus on helping you learn effective methods for managing conflicts with others and mastering your own emotional responses. Making deposits into the emotional bank accounts. Understand the individual, in order to make deposits, you must first know what the other considers a deposit. You can only do this by learning to really listen to learn a persons needs or interests. Remember that what may be a deposit for you may be meaningless or even a withdrawal for someone else. Attend to the little thing, oftentimes it is the little things that count the most. Small insensitive things that that you do or forgetto do, add up to be large withdrawals. On the other hand those small niceties or favors that you do for another are often the purest proof that you care. In fact frequent small deposits typically lead to larger balances than the occasional huge deposit. In relationships the little things are the big things. Keep your commitments; remember the power of your words. Keeping your promises constitutes a major depost and is an essential element of trust. Breaking your promises particularly if this happens regularly constitutes a major withdrawal. Clarify your expectation; you can create many problems. Chapter 9 is about building trust as you communicate. Blocks to effective listening, judging our natural tendency to judge, to define things as good or bad cool or uncool can be an enormous barrier to effective communication. If you prejudge someone in a negative way it will influence your ability to listen. Negative labels have tremendous power. For example quickly labeling someone as stupid of crazy make it highly unlikely that you will pay much attention to what that person has to say. Other types of judgment responses include moralizing advising warning and ordering. When you are judgment other people are put on the defensive and typically turned off. Mind reading; rather than paying attention to what the person is really saying you are busy operating on the basis of your assumptions about what the persons thinking and saying. Once in a while if you are very perceptive your efforts at mind reading may be on target, but for the most part mind reading usually leads to mis communications and misunderstanding. Stereotyping; when you operate on the basis of your widespread generalizations about a person based on group membership os somne physical characteristic rather than getting to know that person for who he or she is you are setting the stage for poor listening and distorted communications. Interrupting; frequent or needless interruptions disrupt communication and interfere with the flow of the conversation. When a speaker is interrupted repeatedly he or she will often become distracted and feel frustrated. And if you are the one chronically interrupting then rather than listening you are obviously attending more to what you want to say than to what is being said. Giving the other person the time and space to talk is more than politeness it is the essence of true listening. And the other person owes you the same respect. Interruptions are more likely to be mad by persons in positions of authority over you like parents teachers and bosses. And men tend to interrupt more than women particularly in male-female conversations. Comparing; you are listening for purpose of seeing how you measure up to the other person, drawing comparisions and contrasts in your head. The end result is that you are so busy feeling either inferior or superior that minimal attention is given to the speaker. Rehearsing; you are busy concentrating on and reviewing what you want to say next which detracts you’re your ability to listen to the speaker. Stage hogging; stage hogs called conversational narcissists listen with primary intent of changing the focus of the conversation back onto themselves. At every opportunity they shift the topic back to what happen to them their feeling. Chapter 10 is also building rust as you communicate part 2. How to be a good conversationalist. Keep your message interesting. Avoid rattling on incessantly about minor details unless you know for sure that the other person sincerely wants to hear this minutia. Pay attention to nonverbal cues from the listener to discern if he or she is getting bored and adjust your speech accordingly. Show your sense of humor this doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes or be a stand up comedian. Allow yourself to make humorous or witty remarks when appropriate and by all means demonstrate that you have the capacity to laugh at yourself. Poke fun at yourself by making occasional self-deprecating comments. This puts people at ease by demonstrating that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Show an interest in the other person. Refrain from being nosy but do ask question to draw the other person out. Most people will enjoy talkingabout themselves if a chance so you will make good impression if you show a genuine interest in another person. Avoid monopolizing the conversation this includes interrupting the other person. Stay focused on the topic at hand. While everyone occasionally goes off on tangents and sometimes this helps keep the conversation interesting resist rambling or bouncing from subject to subject without completing your point. Refrain from engaging in annoying mannerisms such as fidgetingor using irritating expression such as punctuating your statements with you know. Talk fairly rapidly. A quick speech rate coveys enthusiasm intelligence confidence and expertise. If you notice signs of impatience in your listener or if people are often finishing your sentences for you this a good tip off that you are talking too slowly. Making a good first impression if you want to make a good initial impression when speaking with someone for the first time these tips. Refrain from discussing controversial topics such as religion or politics. Also no one wants to hear about your health problems at a first meeting. Jokes are fine but avoid any that are off color could be perceived as prejudicial or that are very lengthy and involved. Face the erson squarely lean forward stand upright and maintain good eye contact. Keep your arms open don’t touch your face and resist shifting your weight between your legs which could make it appear that you want to get away as soon as possible. The art of smart talk is often dismissed as superficial or unimportant nothing could be farther from the truth. There is yet another aspect of being a good conversationalist which is more sophisticated than tips mentioned above. This has to do with being able to develop rapport with another person. Chapter 11 is about knowing the workplace. Do you remember when you started college? You had to get yourself registered for classes. The campus was full building that housed among other thing classrooms and you had to find the rooms where your classes would be held. You had to figure out where the bookstore and cafeteria were. You were probably not able to function comfortably or effectively until you got the lay of the land. The average worker has typically worked eight hours a day for 5 days a week 50 of the 52 weeks in a year. That’s most of your year. One of the changes we see in society is the increasing diverging in the workforce. Unlike previous decades where white males dominated the work force the bureau of labor statistics projects that those entering the workforce will include greater representation of diverse groups. Hispanics are becoming the largest minority group in the us. Altough there are high concentration of Hispanics in several states, this population is dispersed throughout the nation. More than half of all immigrants coming here in 2000 were from latin America. Within the Hispanic population are subgroup with cultural and socioeconomic differences. Leadership in the workplace in a small businesses or offices as well as large organizations there is a climate that reflects the personalities of the people there especially the person or persons in charge. This may vary from place to place depending on such things as the nature of thw work the types of organization but especially important is the style of leadership provided by those with administered responsibility. Making a good first impression if you want to make a good initial impression when speaking with someone for the first time these tips. Refrain from discussing controversial topics such as religion or politics. Also no one wants to hear about your health problems at a first meeting. Jokes are fine but avoid any that are off color could be perceived as prejudicial or that are very lengthy and involved. In this chapter we have been examining aspects of the works environment that are important for you to recognize antipate and confront. We have prepared you with strategies to enable you to move around with ease. We have looked at trend in the world such as change new oraganizational patterns global interdependence diversity and leadership styles. We have reviewd some of the administrative realities of the workplace such as policies procedures and performance evaliutions. These topics were presented to give an overview of what to expect in todauys workplace. How can I use the performance review? You should keep a file of your performance records for several reasons first they comprise a record of your work performance over time from which and transfer back to you. In chapter 12 it’s about designing your own career. Suppose you were going to build a house. You would have a lot invested in your home, right? And you wouldn’t want a house just â€Å"put together† on a whim. No, you’d want an architectural drawing carefully planned showing the details of the whole project. The house plan would be based on information about your needs, limits, and preferences. House are a lot like careers.. a lot is invested and you may live in them a long time. Yet, in your educational experience I’ll bet that you have not (in decade or more of schooling) had a meaningful experience of learning about occupations, how to choose one, how to plan your work life, or how to achieve carrer success. Career education is just not a priority for our K-12 school curriculum. For a decision and an area of our lives that we spend so much time in, and that has such an impact on our lives, it is extremely important important to select a career as an informed choice rather han a casual way or by default. Theories about career choices, Many psychologists have studied and developed theories about career choices. Some wrote about stage theories saying we move from childhood fantasies of career toward more realistic ideas. There are some people who determined as a child they wanted to be in a certain profession and remained committed to that goal through their life career. In contrast, there are many students who know they want a college degree, but they’re not sure in what area or how this relates to their career life after college. Some students have decided on a career, but may actually know very little about what is required to enter that profession, or what life in that career means in terms of day to day activities or demands, salary, availability, ork locations or the like. Psychologist John Holland (1958) developed a theory regarding vocational behavior that considers six basic personality orientations. He describes the six types as realistic, these people apply scientific principals in things that they do. They may have mechanical abilities they like doing a or making things, Examples of occupation in this category would be pilot, electrician, engineer, or construction worker. Investiga tive, people in this group like abstract thinking, discovering new knowledge, testing hypotheses solving problems. Example of worker in this category would be a research scientist such as a physicist chemist, medical researcher, college or university professor. Conventional, People in this category enjoy working in structured situations. They are usally very self-disciplined, ordely, like organizing and can work comfortably at routine, repetive task. Occupations in the areas include clerical worker, accountant, bank teller, data entry or billing clerk. In chapter 13 is about being people smart. When we think of being smart we think of having a high IQ, supposedly being very intelligent whn it comes to congnitive skills. However, what we have traditionally referred to and tested with IQ test are skils in languages and analytic/mathematics problem solving. Thus, our concept of intelligent centers around thinking skills involving memorylogic, organizing ideas and the like. In 1983 , Howard Gardner challenged this traditional concept of intelligence when he proposed this theory of multiple intelligences. He described seven different types of intelligence that exist in humans. Understanding People, listening actively, empathically, charifying, interpreting beyond words to non-verbal message, and able to read other people’s styles and motive in order to work with them effectively. Expressing Yourself Cleary knowing how to get your message across be reading the verbal and non verbal responses of those with whom you are communicating. Asserting your needs, being your own person having and establishing limits and being straightforward with your wishes. Exchanging feedback giving feedback easily and without being offensive as well as seeking feedback from others. Infulencing others, being able to motivate orther to action, able toconnect with others, discover their needs, knowing how to reduce resistance and to make persuasive appeals. Resolving Conflict able to use the above mentioned skills to get the subject on the table, able to figure out what’s bothering you and other person and to suggest creative solution. Being a team player accepting the challenges to work with others through complementing their styles, coordinating the efforts of team members without being bossy and building consensus. Shifting Gears , understanding the differences in people, able to make changes in one’s own behavior, willing to try thing new and different, knowing how to handle the risk of change. Understanding Yourself, The aged admonitions from Socrates and Shakespeare to know and be true to yourself are filled with wisedom. Just as you probably can’t really love someone fully if you don’t love yourself first, you obviously need to understand yourself before you can become astute in knowing others. So let’s start with some questions to think about. Putting its all to work. In this chapter we have eamined the ideas of being people smart from literature. We have emphasized of being an astute observerand developing your people skills. We began recognizing how important it is to know yourself, your goals, personality, needs and behavioral triggers. In chapter 14 is mostly making work fun. Taking charge! When you think about going to work, who are you really working for? Are you working for a company or organization? Aboss? Your landlord? Or even your self. By this we don’t necessarily mean that you are self employed but that you are an employed self. Confusing? Well look at it this way your whole being is involved in your career. If you change jobs you are thing that stays intact that is moving to a new position. You need to see yourself as somewhat of an entrepreneur in the workplace. The flow is a sense of playfulness, a feeling of being in control, concentration and highly focused attention, mental enjoyment of activity for its own sake, a distorted sense of time and a match between the challenge at hand and ones skills. Also make it a game. Consider tasks as games with rules , objectives, challenges to be overcome and with rewards. Have a powerful goal as you play the game think often of the overriding social intellectual or spiritual purpose that drives your efforts. Focus let all distractions those within or without go. Center all your attention on the game. Surrender to the process just let go. Don’t try strain to achieve your objective. Let it happen and enjoy the process of work. Experience ecstasy this is the natural result of the previous four steps. It will hit you suddenly by surprise. There is no mistaking it this is a natural high. Create peak productivity. Your ecstatic state opens reservious of resourcefulness creativity and energy. Productivity and quality of work shoot through the roof. In this chapter we have been looking at those issues related to experiencing your wok as pleasurable. We have reviewed those aspects that reside primarily in your power, like taking charge and seeking intrinsic motivation. We have described exciting new findings regarding the personalloy rewarding feeling of flow. We have also discussed potential problems you may encounter in the workplace including substance abuse lack of advancement burnout and discrimination. In considering our work and career effectiveness it is important that you know the workplace you are continuing in or about to enter spend time designing your career and sharpen your people skills. Start with an I can attitude. Stay aware of whats happening to you not only your work and your thoughts but your feeling. Work with emotional intelligence. Remember you are in charge of your life. If you do this and remember the other points in this chapter you will be on your way to become happy!